O.K. so, when I had my son, I stayed home for four months and then returned to work part-time for eight months and full time when he was a year old. My job was running a college dance department for a ballet company and being an arts organization, I did not have benefits and therefore, no maternity leave. so I struggled with balancing time with my son and a stressful demanding job (it was a difficult and stressful time).
One of the biggest struggles was childcare. For the first few months that I was back at work part-time my partner had a two-three day a week television show that he was working on and this worked for us. My employer was flexible enough that we made it work between the two of us with occasional grandparents stepping in, and the occasional bring the baby to work day (which works as long as he is not mobile). When that show ended and my partner got a more frequent gig, we had call in the troops, ie. Grandparents and work it out that way.
As luck would have it (and I believe it truly was luck) we had all the stars align for us when I was going back to work full-time. A spot in the daycare at my workplace came up (I had been on the list since I was four months pregnant), and a city sponsored subsidy for childcare came through. So, I went back to work full-time with my son safely residing two floors above me.
That summer we became pregnant again! So, when my contract negotiations came up before the school year started I knew that I would have to end my contract come April and stay home with my kids. This was difficult decision for me as I have always loved my job and I am so not a home body. However, I was having a stressful time balancing work and time with my son and financially even with the subsidy, paying for two children in childcare was going to eat up the majority of my salary.
So, as of April 2010 I was a stay at home mom of two. So far, it has been fun, rewarding, challenging and at times frustrating. I love being with my kids and watching the discoveries they make and the relationship between them grow. However, I do find it challenging to keep my toddler engaged and at the same time care for an infant. I also have to account for the fact that I just am not a home body and I need to get out and interact with people to keep my sanity. Today, due to the weather it was an inside day and I am very hopeful that tomorrow the weather is better.
The other issue is classes. When I had my son two and a half years ago, I had a mom's group that we self organized, I took Wee Hands lessons and I took baby and me Aquafit. Also, with one baby, I could go fairly easily to the mall and meet friends for lunch or coffee without too much rigmarole. Now, with two, all that has changed. Lunch at a restaurant or even coffee has to be impeccably timed and restaurants have to be family friendly. The mall is doable but again timing is everything to have happy, patient children.
As for classes, well, I registered my son in a parent and baby swim class this summer when my daughter was only three months old. We did it every morning for two weeks but had to enlist the help of grandparents and best friends to accomplish it because someone had to hold the baby outside the pool while I was inside swimming with my son. Now that my daughter is over six months old I have them both in swimming but I need to enlist the help of Grandpa on a weekly basis. I can not easily do any individual classes with either of my children and there are few activities that accommodate a toddler and an infant. I have found the cities drop in programs great, free play for children newborn to six years old with circle sings. I have also found a program through the local library called Family Time that is a story time for children birth to five years old.
The other thing I am noticing with two is that it can get lonely because as busy as you are managing two children getting out of the house is still a chore most days and going to visit friends unless they have children of the same age is not easy. I find my days full of stories, parks, meals, playing with blocks and attempting to get two children to nap somewhere near the same time.
Joining a mothers group is difficult because most mother's groups are for first time moms of children under a year and having to entertain and police a toddler during a mother's group discussion will automatically exclude you from the discussion. I would love to have a mothers group to discuss the infant issues that I have with my daughter as they are different then those I had with my son.
So, here is my solution. I want to start a mother's group for moms of two (or more) children who are not yet of school age. Mothers could meet with their infants and an ECE would be available to run activities with the older children within the same space. I would like to know if mothers would register and pay a fee for a mother's group like this?
No comments:
Post a Comment